


He should have, He needed to, He couldn't

by Aromance91



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bipolar Ian, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, M/M, POV Mickey Milkovich, Sad Ending, Sad Mickey, Season 1-6, Song Lyrics, Song fic, not really smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 13:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10309508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aromance91/pseuds/Aromance91
Summary: He lay in his orange jumpsuit with his hands upon his chest, fingers running over his now infected tattoo. he promised himself he wouldn't cry not over him. He might be gay but he was nobody's bitch. He would not cry over Ian Gallagher. Even as the words played in his mind he could feel the salty sting of tears well up in his eyesMickey “Thanks for coming back”Ian “Svetlana paid me”





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So heard this song earlier and it was like, gotta write a fanfic. All i could picture was Mickey listening to this song thinking back on his relationship with Ian. I hope the quotes and the lyrics are not to confusing, it was like a music video in my head that i out on paper. My first ever song fic.
> 
> This story is written to the chorus of "Battlescars" by Guy Sebastian Ft. Lupe Fiasco  
> The quotes are not mine and i do not take credit for them.

[](http://tinypic.com?ref=30ihkqb)

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QMJDUOXQ10>

Click this link to here the song.

 

 

 

 

He lay in his orange jumpsuit with his hands upon his chest, fingers running over his now infected tattoo. he promised himself he wouldn't cry not over him. He might be gay but he was nobody's bitch. He would not cry over Ian Gallagher. Even as the words played in his mind he could feel the salty sting of tears well up in his eyes

 

_Mickey “Thanks for coming back”_

_Ian “Svetlana paid me”_

  
what happened? they were finally happy, free to be together after everything they went through. God it would be so much easier to hate him. It would be so much easier to say he was never in love, to put every memory of the redheaded devil out of his life but he couldn't do that. He couldn't hate Ian, even after the look in the boys eyes had changed from love to something else darker. He knew he still loved him. He gave into his emotions hearing Ian's words echo in his mind, picturing Ian's face when he asked him to wait. The tears ran silently down his cheek. He wiped his reddening face with the back of his hands looking briefly at the tattoos on his knuckles.

FUCK U UP

That's what he should have done. Three times now he been put behind bars for this kid. What was he thinking?

 

__**Hope the wound heals but it never does  
** That’s cause you’re at war with love  
You're at war with love, yeah 

 

he should have smashed his face in when he came demanding the gun back. That would have prevented the pain radiating from his broken heart. He should have looked past those emerald eyes staring up at him with lust and confusion. He should have pushed away Ian's firm hands as they removed his clothes and laid him down on his bed, instead his hard shell was slowly being stripped away as Ian thrust into him over and over making him bite his pillow. His world was being changed in the most wonderfully worst way and he was completely oblivious.  
  


There should never have been a second time or third time but he was addicted. He told himself it was purely physical, nothing more. He told himself he had an itch, that only Ian could scratch as he was slammed against the cold steel hands moving over his body. Skin against skin, their soft moans filling the air. This was just a hookup. Ian was just a means to an end he told himself ignoring the alarm bells in his head shouting over and over again **y** _ **ou're in too deep**_. He kept those thoughts locked away from himself. To acknowledge them would mean feeling and he did not feel, at least he thought he didn't. He could never have been so wrong.

  
He should have told Ian to fuck off when he stood on his doorstep, his tear stained eyes staring up at him filled with innocence and hurt. He should have slammed the door in the kid's face but as he stared into his swollen eyes he felt another layer of himself being chipped away.  
  
_Ian “ I need to see you..”_

_Mickey “Not a good time”_

_Ian “ I don't know where else to go”_  
  
Life would be so much easier if he had just walked away. He should have turned around and never come back to the store, but he felt such a primal urge. He knew Ian had been seeing the older man, but now he was his. It scared him as much as it intrigued him. The thought of another man's hands touching Ian's body, another man's mouth moaning Ian's name. He should have listened to the voice in his head saying _**get out now**_ instead he taunted and teased the older man, that would be the first bullet he took for Ian Gallagher.  
  


__**These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle... 

  
He should have told the guards **no** when they said he had a visitor, instead he grabbed his crutches and his pride and followed the guard to the visiting room.  
The moment he saw red hair and freckles he should have turned away. He didn't owe the kid conversation, he was the one who got shot. He looked into those emerald eyes as he sat down, trying his hardest to keep up his masquerade but as the boy spoke another layer came crumbling down.  
  


_Ian “I miss you”_

_Mickey”Say that again I'll rip the tongue out of your head”_

 

He shouldn't have let himself smile at the boy's disregard of his harsh words. He should have gotten up and walked away when Ian placed his hand on the window, but instead he pocketed that moment in his heart. That moment where he thought maybe, just maybe someone could like him for him, harsh words and all. As he stared at the boys face he should have seen his future. He should've have seen the danger that lingered behind such innocent eyes. Had he listened to the voice in his head telling him to _**walk away**_ maybe he could be lying in his own bed right now **.** This was South Side after all , nothing was ever as good as it seemed.

 

He didn't seek out Ian Gallagher, no they just seemed to find each other. It seemed no matter what the circumstance, their eyes... blue and green always met. He should have gone home with his sister that night, instead he decided to play with fate. He was amazed at the dedication the boy had in his dreams, and deep down he was humbled by his willingness to share them with him, not that he would tell anyone. He'd never had someone care about him the way Ian seemed to, and it was terrifying. He tried to put up roadblocks for the boy but somehow he managed to squeeze past every one. He told himself just this last time, just one more time to scratch that itch. He told himself _**I'm not gay**_ as he was pressed against the dugout fence for the second time. The feeling of Ian inside of him filling him up, making him complete. _**I'm not gay**_ **.** He knew he was lying to himself then, he just chose not to believe it.

 

He should have said no to working at the Kash&Grab, sure he needed a job for his probation, but he was also an addict and he needed his fix. He should have known having constant access to his drug of choice he would make him careless. He should have made sure to lock the back door and the front, instead he was caught up in the feeling of lust and passion and Ian's soft skin pounding against his own. He saw his life flash before his eyes as he stared at Frank. He knew what they had needed to end. Who was he to get caught in feeling of happiness? He was Mickey Milkovich. He should've known better. His spit harsh words at the boy, watching the light and excitement drain from his freckled face.

 

_Ian “ You cant.. I don't want you too..”_

_Mickey “ What did I just say to you, done is done. What do you think we're boyfriend and girlfriend here...you're nothing but a warm mouth to me”_

 

He was leaving behind the one thing that made him feel halfway human, like he might be worth something. Ian's voice echoed threw his head as he punched the cop in the face violating his probation . That was when he knew. He knew was falling. Tumbling down from atop the walls he had built around him like a shelter for his heart . Brick by brick Ian Gallagher was tearing them down.

 

__**I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched  
** I wish that I could stop loving you so much  
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together  
When all of the signs say that I should forget ya  


 

He should have walked passed the bleachers when he heard muffled sounds of sex, but his feet wouldn't listen and he found himself yet again staring into those emerald eyes. He needed Ian. Even as he was kicking the stranger the boy had just been with , he was mentally undressing him. He needed to to feel his strong hands caress his body, it had been too long. He needed to feel the warmth of the boys breath panting against his neck as he fucked him into oblivion.

He should have known Ian wouldn't wait for him, not after what had happened between them.

 

He told himself he needed to drown out the feelings that were threatening to escape him. He should have known it would hurt Ian when he slept with Angie, the truth is he only did it to put the boy out of his mind. He wanted to tear apart the geriatric fuck who was standing in front of him now flirting with Ian. He could tell by the look in the boys eyes that he liked the guy. He secretly wished he would look at him like that again. No... he needed him to look at him like that again. He shouldn't have followed Ian but the jealousy was knotting in the pit of his stomach. He wanted Ian for his own, he did not want to share. The little voice in his head was screaming _**proceed with caution**_ **,** but he drowned that voice out with alcohol as he watched Ian and his date walk across the street.

 ** _I'm not gay_ ** he told himself as he kneed the man in the stomach. The sound of Ian's yelling for him to stop was muffled by his fist meeting the mans face. **_I'm not gay_ ** he told himself as he and the red haired boy ran into the alley. He shouldn't have stopped and stared into those eyes. He should have kept on running until he was far out of reach of Ian's contagious laughter and warm smile, but instead he found himself craving it more and more.

 

__**I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had  
** I wish that the good outweighed the bad  
Cause it'll never be over until you tell me it's over 

 

The voice in his head continued to taunt him, telling him to give up to go back to his old life that didn't involve skin against skin and the warm touch of Ian Gallagher. He should have listened, instead he chose to drown the voice out with gunshots as he sat upon the ledge of the abandoned building watching the boy practice. He needed to know what he was missing, what made the boy seek others instead of being solely his. He should have known the answer to his question would open Pandora's box.

 

_Mickey “I don't know what you see in that geriatric viagroid”_

_Ian “He buys me stuff, orders me room service..He isn't afraid to kiss me”_

 

He should have known that kissing Ian would be like a lightning bolt running threw his body. As he leaned across the drivers seat and their lips met briefly, he wanted nothing more than to tell Ian how he felt, but he couldn't. He couldn't because he should have known better than to feel at all. Now here he was, bent over and bandaged. He'd taken his second bullet for the kid, but this time it felt different. He needed to show Ian he cared, so when he asked for his help he couldn't say no, not to those green eyes and that innocent face. He wanted him, he needed him. He should have let the boy go to work, but instead he decided to peel back one of his own layers for a change. He wanted to show Ian he could be intimate. He should've have known just like the last time, the moment he dropped his guard would be the moment he fell. Fuck did he fall hard. He needed Ian not to be there anymore. He needed him be safe, but he couldn't do anything. He couldn't stop it. He should have fought his father harder, but once the gun came out time stood still. He could only hear the crack of the gun hitting his face over and over again, he should have known he couldn't be happy. There was the smell of a women's perfume on his naked body, he needed this to end. Blue met green...123...it was over. He should've have been glad to see Ian escape, but all he could picture was the color draining from his face as he flipped the women on her back.

 

__**These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  


He should have known he couldn't out run Ian. Whatever fucked up thing that drew them together was at work again, and now here they were face to face. He needed Ian to leave, but he wouldn't listen, instead there was glass crashing to the floor and the look of pain and confusion in his emerald eyes. He should have ran to him and kissed the boy. He wanted to feel his soft lips upon his, maybe they

would've had a little more time before their world came crashing down, but he couldn't. He couldn't put Ian in danger again. The value of their lives was more important than their feelings. The voice in his head was back was again, telling him he was running away, telling him that he loved Ian but this time it was different. This time the voice was Ian, following him, reaching for him, wanting him. He should have kept walking and never looked back, but the voice in his head was relentless.

 

_Ian “ You love me and your gay just admit it..... just this once fucking admit it!”_

 

He he drowned it out the only way he knew how. He should have known a punch in the gut would not be enough to quiet that voice. The voice that rang with such truth. He couldn't stop himself as his fist met freckled skin. The silence was short lived and the voice was persistent.

 

_Ian “Feel better now? Feel like a man?”_

 

He needed him to let go. He needed him to move on, to leave him in the mess that was his life. He told himself he was doing this to save Ian as he kicked him in the face. Finally there was silence, but it was deafening, and felt wrong. Now he needed to drown out the silence so he reached for the bottle.

 

__**These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle... 

 

 

He should have known she'd get pregnant, that was just his luck. He couldn't stand the idea of having a child with this whore. He couldn't stand the thought of her walking down the isle and taking his last name, but it wasn't his choice. He needed to get away, to escape the charade for a moment longer before his entire life was changed. That's when blue met green again, he should have known Ian couldn't stay away. Words were exchanged and new feelings had emerged, feelings of shame and regret and cowardice. He needed it to stop, so he reached for the boy. He needed to feel their tongues entangled, he needed to feel Ian's strong hands sliding off his clothes. He needed to feel the boy thrusting up against him, making him feel complete again. He needed feel that high that only Ian could provide. If only for a moment, he needed to feel happy. He should have known the moment would end to quickly, blue met green again and this time they were both lost and confused. Ian looked at him with such want and desperation and all Mickey could give him was an excuse, and he knew it. He wanted to give Ian so much more but he couldn't. He couldn't because he shouldn't have these feelings to begin with. He couldn't because there should be nothing to feel at all.

 

_Mickey “Not everybody gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute”_

 

He wanted to tell Ian not to go to the Army. He wanted to grab the boy and pin him down on his bed, but instead he kept his emotions locked tight in the closet that he lived in, and watched as the red head walked out of his life. He felt a dagger piercing his heart. Somehow the boy made a whole big enough in his walls to let it through. He couldn't feel the way he was feeling. Why was he feeling anything at all?

 ** _I'm not gay_** he told himself when he couldn't get hard with a women.

 ** _I'm not gay_** he told himself as he drank away his pain, the memories of blue and green and skin against skin. He needed his touch, he needed his smile. He needed Ian Gallagher. He should have a known a photo wouldn't be enough to heal his heart as his fist slammed into the mirror. He should've told him to stay. He should've told him early on that he cared, maybe then it wouldn't have been so easy for the boy to toss him aside.

 

__**I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched  
** I wish that I could stop loving you so much  
Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together  
When all of the signs say that I should forget ya 

 

He should've known his sister would be talking to Ian, they were best friends after all. He couldn't bring himself to admit it, not even when it was clear that she knew what was between them...

What was between them?

The question lingered in his mind. He needed to find Ian. He needed to bring him home, not just for himself but for his family. He needed Ian safe.

 

 

He couldn't picture Ian in a place like this, not with that bright smile and those innocent eyes. There were bodies grinding on each other, old and young alike. The flashing lights glistening on sweaty skin. Why was he here? How did he end up here? He couldn't accept it.

The voice in his head told him ** _this is your fault_** as he scanned the club looking for Ian. His eyes were betraying him as he saw the boy he once knew so full of hopes and dreams giving a lap dance. He was in nothing but silver booty shorts, a flimsy mesh top and a black boa. There was black eyeliner lacing his emerald eyes. Blue met green once again, but it was cold and unfamiliar. He should have known not to expect anything less, as the boy made him pay for his company. He couldn't stand the way Ian was acting, he was so high, any words that escaped Mickey's mouth just floated into the air passed the boy as he rubbed up against him.

 

He couldn't just walk away, not after seeing green again. He needed Ian like he needed air. Their exchange was less than perfect but for the first time in a long time he felt like he could breath again.

He should have made him leave the club, but instead he was kicking some old guys ass for trying to take Ian home with him. He couldn't breath again when he saw the boy laying on the ground like a crumpled piece of paper, discarded by the world. He needed to get him home and for once he didn't care about anything else. The voice in his head was silent as he laid the boy on his bed and lit a cigarette. He stared at the sleeping redhead and knew, he knew that he would not loose him again.

 

__**I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had  
** I wish that the good outweighed the bad  
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over 

 

He should have known he would be gone he next day. Mickey had never given him reason to do otherwise.

He wanted him to be his, he knew he needed to show the boy how he felt so he went to his house.

Ian was sitting on the bed indifferent, as Mickey tried to make sense of what he had to say.

He needed him, he would do what ever it took to be able to breath again. He would do anything to feel those soft lips and gentle hands on his body. Ian told him his terms and he scoffed, trying to hold onto what pride he had left. He knew couldn't turn the boy down. He got on his knees, unbuttoned Ian's jeans and took the boy in, Ian's hardness filling his mouth for the first time.

He needed to hear the boy moaning above him, it was reassurance that he was his. He wanted to keep Ian, and for a moment he thought maybe he could.

 

He should have known living with the boy would be amazing. It was everything he wanted from life and more but it was not enough for Ian.

 

_Ian “ I just want to know if we're a couple or not..”_

_Mickey” Of course we are”_

_Ian “ A couple that hides..”_

 

He couldn't give Ian what he wanted fully but he tried. He was open around the boys family and friends but anything else was too dangerous. He couldn't go through that again, not after seeing what happiness was . He couldn't risk it being taken away.

He should have know Ian wouldn't take no for an answer as the boy sat in the back of bar watching. He couldn't stand the looks coming from every direction he felt like his brain and his heart were at war.

He should have known Ian would give him an ultimatum, after all the shit they'd been through why wouldn't he. He called him a pussy and a coward, the words stung but they were true.

He wanted to tell everyone how he felt but he was afraid so he remained silent, until blue met green again. This time the green eyes looked defeated and he knew, he knew there would be no more 2nd chances. He couldn't let his air walk out the door. He needed to breath to survive.

He needed to man up and face his himself, face his fears. He need to be free.

 

_Mickey “I just want everyone here to know I'm fucking gay. Big ol homo.._

_You happy now?”_

 

He should have known the only person who would care was his father.

The homophobic asshole who made the Milkovich's what they were, fear and violence was all they knew.

He smashed the bottle on his dads head and punches were thrown.

As he fought his family, even as he was pinned underneath his dad, for the first time in his life he felt free. He needed to tell his father more. He needed to prove he wasn't ashamed as they thrashed against the police cars. He couldn't believe he did not get arrested, instead he was released into the arms of everything he had fought for. He sat on the car staring into those emerald eyes.

Once again for Ian Gallagher he was bloody and broken, but this time was worth it.

 

**_These battle scars don't look like they're fading_  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle... 

 

He should have seen the signs. They told him it would only get worse but he refused to listen. He couldn't acknowledge that Ian was sick, that Ian would need a hospital, not his Ian. Not after everything they had been through.

He watched as the boy once full of life lay on his bed void of all emotion.

He tried to speak but he wouldn't listen, tried to touch but he was pushed away.

He could feel cracks forming on his heart like a broken window as he stared down at the boy. Sick or not he was his. He needed to protect him he told himself as he ran his hands through the boys red hair.

He needed to be their for him now more than ever and no one was going to stand in his way. He couldn't let them take him to the hospital, not his Ian. He needed them to stay away. He had patience he could wait, he could wait for him to be better.

 

_Mickey” I can take care of him, let me take care of him until he's better._

 

“ _We're taking care of him here, you, me, us! He's fucking family..”_

 

He should have known it wouldn't last long, but he was thankful to have his Ian back. He had created the closest thing he had to a home with the boy. The whore was no longer just that, she was the mother of his child, slowly becoming his friend. They lived together side by side doing what made them happy with who made them happy.

His son was growing on him as he watched Ian's hold him in his arms.

He needed the kisses goodbye as he left for work in the morning, so he ignored the fast talking and the excessive energy.He needed the boys affection, he craved it. He couldn't have too much, there was no such thing. He would wake up all night to satisfy him.

 

 

He should have known something was off when he didn't come home that night.

He couldn't sit around not knowing if Ian was OK, he needed to find him, He needed to hold him and know that he was OK.

He should have known it was to good to be true, he didn't deserve happiness. He was a fool to think anything different. When he heard Ian left with someone else he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. There had to be another reason, he wouldn't cheat on him, not after every thing they had been through, not after how hard they fought to be together.

 

**_These battle scars don't look like they're fading_  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle... 

 

He needed to know. He sat there with his son just waiting. Feelings he thought were gone were now resurfacing, anger and insecurity. Mickey Milkovich was nobody's bitch but here he was , sitting at home beer in hand wondering if it was all a lie.

He should have known Ian wasn't OK. Blue met green again and Mickey was hurt. When he confronted him about staying out the boy tossed him some cash and said he made a porno ever so casually. The words hit him like a slap in the face. He couldn't believe Ian had cheated on him and was acting like it wasn't a big deal. He needed him to realize that he was not OK. He needed him to understand what he did was not OK, but he wouldn't.

 

_Mickey “ You are going to the psych ward or a fucking ER, it's up to you. Either way you're going to a fucking hospital”_

 

He should have known not to give the boy an ultimatum, he was obviously not OK.

He should have never walked away and instead waited by the door for the boy to pack his bags.

He couldn't believe that Ian ran from him with his kid. He couldn't believe he was destroying everything they had worked for by not answering his calls. He needed to hear his voice or at least see his name on his screen but instead all he received was silence and the unknown.

He should have known the first time he said those 3 words they would not be face to face, that he would be talking to a machine.

 

_Mickey “ Look shit head this is like the 200 th time I'm calling and you not picking up. I'm about to get fucking homicidal. Call me the fuck back Ian”_

 

“ _I'm worried about you, I_ **love** you”

 

He needed to know he was OK. He needed to see his face. When asked who was he answered

partner..lover.. family

He couldn't turn away from Ian, not when his emerald eyes looked so scared and confused. His innocent face replaced with self loathing.

He needed to see him but it was too much. They had admitted him to a psych ward and what was remaining of his Ian seemed to be gone.

He should have stayed despite feeling uncomfortable. He should have been there when he was released but instead he ran. The voice in his head was back telling him to stop being a coward, it was reminding him the sad lost boy in the metal box was still his Ian. He tried to drown the voice out, he drank and he drank but it was still clear as day. He felt like he couldn't breath again, except this time he felt like he was drowning. He was being suffocated by his feelings of love, anger and confusion. He should have known the moment he lay next to Ian those feelings would go away.

 

_**Cause you set me on fire  
I've never felt so alive, yeah** _

 

He couldn't understand the doctors when they said Ian had bipolar. When they said he'd be on medication for the rest of his life. He couldn't understand what sick joke the universe was playing on his green eyed boy. His innocence lost, the light no longer shining behind his emerald eyes.

He needed to learn what Bipolar was. He needed to take care of him. He wanted to take care of him, to help him get better.

 

_**No, hoping wounds heal, but it never does  
That's because you're at war with love** _

 

He should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

He should have known Ian would resist. He was always self sufficient, now here he was being reminded to take pills that he hated, reminded not to do this and not to drink that.

He couldn't make him happy anymore. His smile was replaced with a permanent frown, no matter what Mickey did. He couldn't satisfy him anymore, it seemed the spark of skin against skin was now a distant memory as he failed once again to make him hard.

He needed him to know he didn't care. He needed him to know it didn't matter to him, only he did.

He couldn't not take care of him, he loved him. Even when it made Ian upset, he still took care of him.

 

He should have known he was taking him to their spot.

Ian needed a reminder of what they once were, what he once was.

He couldn't watch as he tried and failed. He knew Ian was in no shape to being trying anything.

He should have known his boys pride was as lost as he was. He still stood there telling him not to drink because of his meds. Ian would be upset but he didn't care. He needed to take care of him and sometimes, that meant saying things he didn't want to hear. He should have expected the punch to the face but he didn't. As they rolled around in the grass, punching and kicking blue met green again. This time there was a spark behind those emerald eyes. There was a hint of the boy he fell in love with being revealed, and Mickey had never been so happy.

 

_**And I'm at the point of breaking  
And it's impossible to shake it (yeah)** _

 

He should have known better.

He should have kicked that bitch Sammie out when he had the chance, instead she was able to stay and sneak into Ian's mind, learning his deepest secrets.

He couldn't stop fighting as he watched Ian being taken away by MP's , not when they finally started becoming what they once were Not after he saw the light in his eyes again.

He couldn't listen when Ian's family told him he was released to his mom but still had not called.

He needed to know he was OK. He needed to know they were OK.

They were OK weren't they?

They had to be.

Why wouldn't they be?

 

__**See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does  
** That's cause you're at war with love  
Hope it heals, but it never does 

 

He should have known his calls would go unanswered, but he never stopped trying.

The voice in his head was telling him give up, telling him he tried but he drowned that voice out with a plan.

He should have know he didn't kill Sammie, that was never really his plan. He just wanted to scare her, to hurt her for hurting his green eyed boy.

He couldn't believe his eyes when his phone rang that last time, Ian's name across the screen.

He'd never ran so fast in his life.

 

_**That's cause you're at war with love!** _

 

He should have known things had changed.

Blue met green and they were strangers. He stood their and poured his heart out to the boy wearing Ian's face but it was no use.

The Ian that had fought for him, that had pushed him to his breaking point was gone.

 

_Mickey “ This is it....this is you breaking up with me..”_

 

He needed to see him, it had been to long. He didn't care if he had changed, in his eyes Ian would always be the boy who burst into his room demanding a gun but taking his heart instead.

He needed to hear his voice, even if the words that came were cold and bitter.

He should have known the kid would get under his skin, that he would find the darkest corner of Mickeys heart and brighten it with his mere presence.

He should have never let himself fall so hard, but fuck he jumped off the fucking cliff.

He was an addict, and Ian Gallagher was his drug. He lay there caressing the tattoo on his chest, tracing the boys misspelled name with his fingers, and he knew. He knew he was in love.

 

__**These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
** Don't look like they're ever going away  
I ain't ever gonna change  
These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle scars don't look like they're fading  
Don't look like they're ever going away  
I ain't never gonna change  
These battle... 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Comments and kudos are appreciated. I'm still taking prompts so leave those in the comments! If haven't already check out my Tumblr. Thank you guys for all the support xoxoxo.
> 
>  
> 
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